fireez: (Les Mis - Enjolras gun)
...and I'm out of that place. Friday and Monday.

And I'm so, so glad. Yes, being unemployed sucks because of money and associated worries, but you know what also sucks? Having a job that wrecks your mental health.

I'll also be glad to leave the sexism behind. Yeah, today was one of those days where I was once again reminded of just how much our bosses value their female employees. I mean, I've always felt a little bit underestimated, but before they got two new, male apprentices, I didn't know exactly why. Now I do. It's because I'm female, and clearly females just aren't as competent as men. Doesn't matter that the guys come to me if they have questions, nope, by virtue of being male, they are automatically able to do more tasks than I am.

I don't blame it on the guys. Both of them are nice, and we get along really well. I blame it on my bosses who are stuck somewhere in a world where equality of the sexes isn't invented yet.

And you know what's worst about sexism? It doesn't just make you hate the sexist people, it makes you hate yourself. Or rather your gender. I know it's not rational and I shouldn't think like that, but for a moment there, I hated the fact that I'm percieved as female. Which I shouldn't because self-hate is one of the most harmful things in the universe. But that's what sexism (and any kind of stigma, actually) does to you. It makes you hate yourself for what you are.

...but no worries, now I'm back to putting the hate where it belongs: their stupid sexist asses.

fireez: (Monty Python - Monks)
...or, here's the biggest reason we just HAD to move.

Everyone on that street is stuck in the 50s. No, seriously.

Today, we did the inspection and handing over of the old place. And let me explain to you a thing, dear journal.

First thing: everything your landlords say when you move in will be forgottten when you move out. Including "oh, those tiles on the window sill are really old, if you want to you can replace them with whatever you like". NOPE. And yeah, OF COURSE the tiles didn't just drop off becaue they were simply glued onto a bit of polished wood, which is shoddy work if I ever saw it. NOPE. "My mother did that herself, and she always does good work. All the other tiles are still there". Well that's because they're on top of the windowsill and gravity does not work on them.

The dampness in the bathroom is TOTALLY NOT because the shutter casing is leaking. NOPE. It's because we didn't open the window after taking a shower! Also, yeah, no way the silicone in the shower has to be replaced after a few years. It's so shit because we didn't open the window!

But the worst thing came when the whole thing was basically over and we were standing in the kitchen. Apparently, they were unhappy with our cleaning job. Here's a quote for you, said to my husband: "After all, you have a wife!". Oh, and: "I only saw him (hubby) doing work in the evenings for the last two months. Something has gone really wrong, I'd say."
Oh and then I got bitched at because I smiled. No, wait "grinned". Tell you what, lady. For one, I was trying to be polite (but apparently, I should have been ashamed of myself because a woman is defined by her cleaning!). And second, you would NOT have liked the face I made seconds before that.

It looked kind of like a cross between these: 

Because really. Really?

I've been living there for like 6 years and they NEVER NOTICED that I actually have a full-time job? Where the fuck did they think I went every morning? The fucking hairdressers? Or maybe they did notice but think that a woman should have a full-time job AND to all the housework. Because we don't need things like rest or time for our hobbies. Oh and they didn't notice that I WASN'T EVEN IN TOWN for two months.

I mean seriously. This is the 21st century. There's been this thing called "feminism" and "social equality" which led to women joining the workforce and couples sharing the housework and stuff like that. But I have this feeling that this great invention totally passed our landlady and her daughter by.

I'm just.. a weird mix between flabberghasted, angry and amused.



Dec. 9th, 2012 09:35 am
fireez: (Misc - women's vote)
We get so mad when some nitwit says she’s not a feminist. I guess if you’re cool with being raped all the time and having no options in life other than being a baby machine or a prostitute, then yeah, you’re probably not a feminist. But if you enjoy birth-control pills and not being beaten up by your owner—I mean, husband—then you pretty much are one so you may as well stop shaving your legs right now. Just kidding. Somewhere along the way feminism got a bad rep, but it doesn’t mean you have to be a sourpuss or that you can’t write tongue-in-cheek articles riddled with silly gender stereotypes. All it means is that you don’t hate yourself.
Lesley Arfin and Amy Kellner for The VICE Guide to Girls 

Actually the whole article is awesome. But that one's the best bit. Well, that and the bit about unicorns. UNICORNS @.@

fireez: (Misc - women's vote)
Instead, I'm going to talk about the offcial outfits of the German olympic squad, and why I think it's problematic. Besides from being simply fugly.

Here's a picture for reference

See the pink and the blue? Well of course you do. It's eye-watering. It's hideous. It looks like shit.

And it's probematic. The boys all wear blue, the girls all wear pink.

Now, I don't mind women wearing pink. Go ahead. Wear pink all the time if you want to. I don't object to women wearing pink.

What I do object to is some committee deciding that all the women wear pink, and all the boys wear blue.

Of course, you could say that well, all the athletes are forced to wear their official garb, and what's so problematic about this particular one?

Most of the other ones don't enforce gender stereotypes and barriers. That's what's problematic here. The pink and blue is enforcing gender stereotypes on people (who might not want that), and it's driving a clear dividing line between the men and the women. Not "look here, these are our athletes, don't they look fine?". No, it's "look here, these are our clearly labeled male and female athletes, don't they look fine?" to which the resounding answer of the world has been FUCK NO.

By assigning "boy" and "girl" colors to people, you also assign them "boy" and "girl" gender roles. Which is problematic. Like I said, some people might be comfortable with that, but I bet my ass that some of them aren't. Hell, there may even be genderqueer athletes among our squad, and that must feel really fucking great, to be assigned a label you're not.

Side note: apparently, you can only compete as a woman if you have two X chromosomes and nothing else. No trans women allowed, and no XXY women, either. Because they have a "physical advantage". Well, screw that, I always thought the Olympics weren't about winning, but about celebrating humanity as a united whole? Apparently, trans people do not fall under that umbrella.

Anyway, that's my rant about the German outfits, and why I hate the fuck out of them. Dear whoever made that decision: congratulations, you've made the whole world think that not only we don't have any fashion sense, but that we're stupid, too.

fireez: (GoT - Daenerys and dragon)
Bad thing about today's work: my lower back started hurting, and now I'm afraid I'll fuck it up again like last time. DNW. This is my punishment for not keeping up with my yoga, ppl.
Good thing about today's work: boss bought ice cream for everyone, since it was super hot outside. This is why I love my work, even though it's literally back-breaking and always goes from "omg so bored nothing to do" to "omg stress everywhere" without much inbetween spaces.

Every time I see an icon community or icon maker be all RAWR about the whole commenting/crediting/altering their icons thing, I feel the need to not credit them. And not comment. And possibly alter.

And now, GoT feels.
Spoilers for The Prince of Winterfell )

...seriously, I still don't know how anyone can say this series is not feminist, with all the awesome female characters it has. So yeah, some stuff is PROBLEMATIC, but I do think that is kind of outweighed by the sheer amount of kickass women.
fireez: (Misc - awesomely different)

5 gender stereotypes that used to be the exact opposite

This article is made of so much win and awesome, it should get its own parade.
fireez: (Marvel Movies - Black Widow boom)
Controversial post may be controversial, but here goes.

I've read a lot of stuff about Game of Thrones (the TV series as well as the books, which I haven't read yet) and how horribly sexist it is. And then there's the often reblogged "How to be a fan of problematic things" article, which also talks about Game of Thrones.

But there's also another view of the series, one I happen to hold. I think the series has some great female characters, and not just one or two "token strong women". It has women of every shape and size, of every alignment and moral outlook. Some of the women are villains, some are heroes. All of them survive in a wold in which all the cards are stacked against them, and some of them come out with the upper hand.

So yeah, I'm a fan of a problematic thing, and right now I demand for myself the things that those who find the series problematic demand for themselves: that you listen to and acknowledge my point of view, and not badger me endlessly about how I JUST HAVE TO hate the series and how it is TOTALLY sexist etc. Because you know, this thing goes both ways.

All prompted by this imho wonderful article:
fireez: (GoT - Daenerys and dragon)
The girl with the dragon tattoo in under 5 minutes

It's a very good article, imho, especially since it points out all that is wrong with the story.

I admit to really not liking the movie. OK, so I saw the Swedish version, but well, I had problems with the story, which apparently stayed exactly the same.

While I do approve of the brutal revenge on the rapist, I absolutely do not approve of how apparently, in this movie, if you're a woman? Yeah, you're going to get raped. Mostly because I don't approve of the "rape as drama" trope, which this movie uses ad nauseam. Want to add a dramatic backstory to your female character? Have her raped! Because according to those writers, rape is the worst thing that can happen to a woman, and the only thing that is really dramatic. Sigh. (Also, yes, I am fully aware of the irony of using a Game of Thrones icon on this post)

Rape is horrible. But there are other horrible things out there. Like having your family killed in front of your eyes, which is the usual trope for male characters. See where I'm heading with this? IMHO, the "rape as drama" trope is tied to some icky assumptions about gender, mainly that the worst you can do to a woman is take away her purity (note: I know that this is not what rape is or feels like, but this is how it is most often presented in the context of media - the victim is now a "soiled" and "broken" woman). Strangely enough, "rape as drama" is very very rarely used with a male character. Probably because of the "real men don't get raped" trope. More icky assumptions about gender.

And then there's the whole thing about oh, she just got brutally raped, but a few days later she's banging our hot male lead even though she has a girlfriend. Sorry, but this has "terrible authorial wish fulfillment" written all over it. It's, to use that word again, icky. If you absolutely have to use rape as a point of drama, please do it realistically. Do some survivors of sexual violence continue to have a normal sex life immediately afterwards? Probably. Most of them don't, though.

And then there's the backstory about why the author of the books wrote them, and that thing pushes it from "bad writing" into "kind of skeevy" territory, if you ask me. If you want to make penance for not helping the real-life rape victim, there are far better ways to do this than write wish-fulfillment novels while using her actual name. And then having her bang your author self-insert. SKEEEEEEVY, dude.

So, yeah. I know a lot of people love these movies/books and think they're great and pro-feminist, but I happen to disagree.
fireez: (GoT - Daenerys and dragon)
Because I was watching part of a movie adaptation of "Mother Hulda" while eating breakfast...

A lot of fairy tales have the theme of the protagonist being treated badly by their (step)family or society. If the protagonist is male, they will leave home, go on an adventure, do some amazing things, and when they get home, people respect them. If the protagonist is female, she will take the abuse, continue to slave away for the people dishing it out, all while being obedient and nice (and not like those lazy, willful girls around her), and in the end, she will be rewarded for that.

Is anyone else disturbed by the messages this sends? Does anyone else notice how this mirrors how a lot of girls are still brought up - always be nice, always smile, always do what you are told - which then leads to massive problems for them in life?

When I have a kid, I'm going to genderbend some fairy tales, because I do not want my child to grow up with the idea that to be rewarded, a woman has to be nice and obedient and never step out of line. It's bullshit, and it's dangerous bullshit. I can't find the link right now, but there was an interesting article about how women are still brought up to never hurt anyone's feelings, even if they risk getting hurt in the process. How we are brought up to smile at the guy making unwanted advances instead of telling him straight out to shove off.

If a woman is treated badly, she has the same right to draw a line, shout "no!" and walk off that a man has. And unlike in the fairy tale world, in the real world, being nice to your abusers and doing what you are told will not get you rewarded. It will get you hurt even more. This thing about "be nice and you will get your reward (and a man, can't forget about the man) in the end" is a lie propagated by a sexist society that wants to keep women down. And if you're going "dude, that's some feminist fightin' words there", yes they are. Passivity is not a virtue, regardless of what the old stories might say.

Back to the topic of fairy tales, one of the few that don't fall into that trap of passive women and active men is Hansel and Gretel, which ends in Gretel being the one saving the day.


fireez: (Default)

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